Tag: Survival

COCOA BUTTER MASK

I move with pride                    even though I hide                      the pain inside-                            I speak of shame                      not to defame                                or place blame-                        the embarrassment              was a detriment                          to my temperament-                    I didn’t choose to be a part of any movement or hash tag-      especially if the requirement meant that I’d be privy to sexual molestation-                It is with hesitation                that I proclaim            victimization-                    This is sad…                                  However, my aim                  is to lose the humiliation            that I hold inside-                        The resentment survivors carry, can vary                      from fear to anxiety-                  from depression to grief.            By standing up against abuse,  it’s a slight relief-                      Do I regret speaking up about the who touched me              that night? No-                              At the time (age 10),                    I lied and stated that                nothing was wrong                      but I cried-                            What made me think            that I could be strong enough    to say something,                      to tell my truth-                            When I did                                    I was not believed-                      It was not a reprieve                  It was a game-                              The only thing I achieved was  the name of  a liar.                      Him, he became the victim-      I tried to tell                                  that I was playing in Hell            with the devil                        with a grin-                                    He actually smiled at me            ever so gingerly                      like he was protected-                I felt neglected                          My family                                    did not help me                        My feelings were rejected-        I did not receive a hug,              a kiss or a pat                            on the forehead.                          I got yelled at instead-                Usually my mother                      coated our ills            with Cocoa Butter…                      it was better than pill-          This time, she seemed torn, confused, removed, worn.        I had nobody-                          My scars were infested              by sores                                      My skin bled with spores            of contempt.                                  I was used-                                    Even though                          years have gone by,                      therapy does not conceal            the harmful memories-                                                                        Prayer and meditation helps    to heal the clutter of emotions.  Forgiveness is key-                      I am writing my truth                to liberate me from hate.            Holding such rage in                  is not healthy-                              I pray that I can          shed some anger            towards this dead man.              I will forgive him one day-        My bruises are mine.                  Other people have died              trying to hide much pain.          I say ENOUGH!

My testament is to inspire,      to empower other people          to come forward.                        SPEAK UP!                          DON’T BE AFRAID!                      Seek assistance and put a stop  to this violent crime          before it repeats-                      It’s time to SUPPORT            each other-                                    LISTEN to one another              and mend scars                      that don’t fade-                          Let perpetrators know                their mistreatment won’t be tolerated and they will be punished!

#MeToo     #AmSpeaking            #Itriedtotell     #MyTruth

Reduce the fear                          of double victimization              by giving an objective ear        to someone in need.