COCOA BUTTER MASK
I move with pride even though I hide the pain inside- I speak of shame not to defame or place blame- the embarrassment was a detriment to my temperament- I didn’t choose to be a part of any movement or hash tag- especially if the requirement meant that I’d be privy to sexual molestation- It is with hesitation that I proclaim victimization- This is sad… However, my aim is to lose the humiliation that I hold inside- The resentment survivors carry, can vary from fear to anxiety- from depression to grief. By standing up against abuse, it’s a slight relief- Do I regret speaking up about the who touched me that night? No- At the time (age 10), I lied and stated that nothing was wrong but I cried- What made me think that I could be strong enough to say something, to tell my truth- When I did I was not believed- It was not a reprieve It was a game- The only thing I achieved was the name of a liar. Him, he became the victim- I tried to tell that I was playing in Hell with the devil with a grin- He actually smiled at me ever so gingerly like he was protected- I felt neglected My family did not help me My feelings were rejected- I did not receive a hug, a kiss or a pat on the forehead. I got yelled at instead- Usually my mother coated our ills with Cocoa Butter… it was better than pill- This time, she seemed torn, confused, removed, worn. I had nobody- My scars were infested by sores My skin bled with spores of contempt. I was used- Even though years have gone by, therapy does not conceal the harmful memories- Prayer and meditation helps to heal the clutter of emotions. Forgiveness is key- I am writing my truth to liberate me from hate. Holding such rage in is not healthy- I pray that I can shed some anger towards this dead man. I will forgive him one day- My bruises are mine. Other people have died trying to hide much pain. I say ENOUGH!
My testament is to inspire, to empower other people to come forward. SPEAK UP! DON’T BE AFRAID! Seek assistance and put a stop to this violent crime before it repeats- It’s time to SUPPORT each other- LISTEN to one another and mend scars that don’t fade- Let perpetrators know their mistreatment won’t be tolerated and they will be punished!
#MeToo #AmSpeaking #Itriedtotell #MyTruth
Reduce the fear of double victimization by giving an objective ear to someone in need.
Frederica's Passions 
You must be logged in to post a comment.