Author: Frederica R. Burrage

There are more than two types of individuals in any friendship circle. Some people will deserve and appreciate your kindness. Those people will reciprocate your efforts. Others will take your kindness for weakness and not care to give freely of themselves in return. It takes two caring persons to form a special relationship, a bond, or a connection. Yes, as the saying goes, “You’re only as strong as your weakest link. If people don’t change their selfish ways, the relationship becomes flawed and is destined for failure.

In the “Circle of Friendship, it takes two energetic and enthusiastic persons to complete the perpetual cycle of solidarity. “In the game of LIFE, there are genuine players, who play for the thrill of the game. Then there are fraudulent players, who will do anything just for the sake of winning. If you and your teammates don’t share common interests, check out and change your course. You have to all be focused on the same goals and move in the same direction.

All relationships undergo transformations. People who are genuinely interested in a friendship with you, will help you and not compete against you. Friends work together from the center in a productive manner to forge a solid, closed force. No one should be allowed to cross known boundaries for personal gain or self recognition. Not even outsiders could penetrate a strong kinship.

It is a beautiful thing when like minded friends relate well in their attitudes and agree to the same principles. This is not always the case though. If one person lacks good morals or makes poor judgments, the other needs to check them. “True friendships” are not conditional. The goal is to assist each other in order to succeed together, without seeming biased or envious.

People eventually show you who they are. Don’t be blinded by falsehoods and bravado or else you will be blindsided and disappointed. Having expectations of someone is normal but not necessary. If that someone is considerate, they will not hurt your feelings. Pay attention to what people do- as well as, hear what they say. Don’t let mere words affect your outlook on anyone. Words can cloudy your judgment. Base how you feel on what you receive in totality. LOVE THOSE WHO LOVE YOU!

It baffles me that family members are not automatically friends. We choose our acquaintances by engaging in similar activities and then finding out that we exhibit familiar characteristics. Yes, sometimes opposite personalities attract. Mostly, people gravitate towards others who they think they can relate to. Blood relationships doesn’t denote sincerity among relatives. Natural friendliness is far better than forced association. People are who they are and one cannot try to change another simply because they want to. If you can’t be yourself around your family or express yourself around so-called friends, that’s problem #1. Also, if a friendship feels fake, let it go because it is fake. Don’t beg or compete for anybody’s attention or affection. It’s not worth it. Value yourself and be a loner, until you make relationships elsewhere. It takes time to develop faithful friendships. Your goodwill is worth waiting for.

Selfish people lack concern for others. They are self seeking by default (self-serving by definition). No need to feel sorry for them. They could care less how their unscrupulous behavior harms the whole community around them. These folks do not deserve second chances. If you are let down by someone you thought that you could trust, forgive yourself. Your problem was putting your faith in man, and not God alone (problem #2). He will fight your battles and carry you through disagreements and disappointments.

I am a firm believer in repentance and redemption. However, one soul can only take so much abuse. Don’t let “sorry folks” tell you they are sorry. By the time self-centered people realize that they damaged your relationship, it’s too late for apologies. If you keep accepting less than you deserve, people will give you subpar attention and unwanted scars (problem #3).

Give yourself space from critical people. Put distance between you and toxic situations (solution #1). Take chances with new faces. Don’t judge… Just be smart and pay attention. Start new attachments without over extending your natural self. Never let anyone alter your positive spirit! Maintain your standards and be mindful of your expectations (solution #2). An honest person is straightforward. An authentic friend will reward you with kindness, without you looking for it. A loving partner, is courageous enough for you both… Able to tell you the truth and be there for you as a sounding board. Real friends have good intentions and pure hearts. Sometimes, it may take awhile to figure out who they really are, so be patient and cautious. Communicate your thoughts and watch to see if your viewpoint is respected. You may not always be understood, but expect to be heard. Choose to be surrounded by honest and fair individuals. Be selective in the company that you keep. You may get lucky and find a caring, long-lasting friend, that you’d least anticipated. Don’t settle on mediocre pacts. Be the friend that you would want in return. Show people how you want to be treated. Give love and inspire others to love you back. Hopefully, they will or you can choose to limit your generosity (solution #3). Remember, God can be your best confidant when you call on him. Always maintain your level of self confidence and self-love.

Loyalty is a two-lane highway. In life, there is enough room for you both to speed ahead without bumping into each other. Even if you find that your friends may begin to travel opposite you, you wish them well and pray for them. Focus on your path and those who support you will cheer you on your journey.